Matters of the Heart

I am a bit heavy of heart tonight. I was sitting here pondering life, love, and other mysteries, when I thought to myself, "I never did get past Chapter 1 in my Captivating journal. I've read the book, but I'd like to go through it with the journal." My bookshelf happens to be right next to my desk, so I picked it up and began to read some of the responses I had written to the questions. It awakened many longings in me and my feminine heart that I had forgotten. It seems odd to just open my heart up to the general reading public, but since most of my readers are my dearest friends, I think I will. Perhaps some of you can relate. And for the person who occasionally asks to read my diary, here is a glimpse of what you may find:

[From Chapter 1] what strikes you? What did it evoke in your heart?
"...I was also stricken by my desire to be wanted and romanced and loved, and my desire to be beautiful. Even just reading about it made the desires so fresh and strong in my mind. More than anything, I want to be pursued and fought for. All this evoked in my heart a desire to be who I am. I don't want to feel like I have to be strong and independent anymore. I want to be able to embrace my feminine heart and allow others to see it, but I'm afraid."

Do you want to be romanced? In what ways?
"I desperately want to be romanced. I long for it. I want to know that someone loves me and will stop at nothing to gain my love in return. I want to be pursued and sought after. I want to know that someone needs me and that I'm a priority to someone." (In response to the quote: I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far - I will find you. From Nathaniel to Cora in "The Last of the Mohicans")

As a woman, do you long to draw out the strength of a man?
"Yes. I want to be able to make a man be a hero, and I want to be able to make him feel strong and masculine. I want to be able to be a girl and have a man be the man. I don't want to have to compensate."

I feel as though Captivating is the manual to my soul. I remember thinking when I read it the first time that it described me and explained me perfectly. I still think that it does. I think I need to read it again and finish the journal... go beyond the first chapter... If you want to understand me, truly understand me (and possibly yourself, if you are a woman), I strongly encourage you to read this book. When it claims on the cover that it is going to unveil the mystery of a woman's soul, it would be true to say that it will unveil the mystery of Amarea's soul. It is 1:52am, and I am far from sleep (and not just because of my recent fight with insomnia!). Perhaps I will begin on Chapter 2 tonight. Then again, I'm not sure if I'm feeling up to that just yet...

SUPRISE!!

So, last night, I went out with my friends for Megha's going away party at the Lower Deck. Things were proceeding as normal... Megha was opening her camp survival kit... when all of a sudden, SARAH CHAN shows up! Aren't you in Hong Kong!? Apparently not!!! lol What an awesome suprise! Is that how you spell suprise? Surprise? I don't know... Both look weird cos I'm thinking about it... Anyways, Megha and Jessie knew about it, but me, Morgan, and Bek didn't! When she came, I was sitting on the inside of the booth, so I couldn't see who it was. All I could tell was that someone was there who we knew, and Morgan and Bek were hugging whoever it was and screaming. Then I saw her! lol It was so weird! I was like, "Wow... That looks like Chan... WAIT A MINUTE! It IS Chan!!" Megha and Jessie tell me that the look on my face was priceless. haha Welcome home, girl!!

The Lower Deck is a very fun place. Great music upstairs and down. I had a lot of fun dancing on their very small dance floor to 80's and 90's hits with a few Top 40 tracks thrown in there. All of my favourite songs from when I was 7 till about 10 were played - the oldies that I grew up on! haha It was great... And Rebekah definitely got to dance with a guy who looked exactly like Ryan Gosling. How often does that happen!? It was great. Definitely a good night downtown! Pics to come on Facebook... unfortunately, none of Ryan Gosling since all were taken at the opening of the camp survival kit... *sigh*

Good luck at camp, Megha! I'll be praying for you. :) Be strong, Warrior Woman! hahaha I mean... Princess... Diva... *cough, cough* Just kidding! Sort of... ;)

Advice For Men, Compliments of Michael Buble

Try a Little Tenderness

She may be weary/Women do get weary/Wearing the same shabby dress/And when she's weary/Try a little tenderness

Oh, she may be waiting, just anticipating/Things she may never possess/While she's without them/Try a little tenderness

It's not just sentimental/She has her grief and her care/But a word so soft and gentle/Makes it easier to bear

You won't regret it/Women don't forget it/Love is their whole happiness/And it's all so easy/Try a little tenderness/But a word soft and gentle/Makes it easier to bear/You won't regret it/Cause women don't forget it/Love is their whole happiness/And it's all so easy/Just try a little tenderness

You've gotta try/You've gotta hold her/You've got to squeeze her/You've got to try/You've got to try and always please her/You won't regret it, you won't regret it/Oh, try a little tenderness

Quote(s) of the Day

"Do you know what? I live to dream! Do you know why? My underwear says me!" -Megha

"No, I really want to know! Am I a sped??" -Megha

"Okay, fine... TAKE THE SALT OFF!!!" -Megha

"That's a terrible last name. If I had it, I would change it." -Megha

Me and Megha met the dreamiest guy ever today! (I mean.. after Peter... of course! ;) He works at Subway, and he shamelessly flirted whilst making our subs. He was actually quite funny and cute (personality wise... well, I suppose physique wise, as well). I had to evaluate my bread before I could have it, and then I got made fun of for not liking to mix veggies and bread. Megha got it way worse though! haha I won't even try to explain it... but the salt quote was said to dreamboy, and he nearly jumped out of his skin cos she said it so harshly! (Jokingly, of course...) heehee Fun times at Subway!

Legs

Every time my cell phone rings, this song plays. It's good for my self esteem, I think! haha I miss you, Tom... Thanks for giving me this song!

Good News!

Well, things are finally looking up! I have my phone interview with Staples Thursday morning and an interview with SuperStore soon. The Staples job doesn't start for another month, so I'm hoping to get on at SuperStore until then. I have been looking for a job for what seems like forever, so this is really good! I can FINALLY start to de-stress. I have been one little wound up ball of anxiety lately, so this is a very, very good thing! Pray that all this will go well, if you think of me!

I watched When Harry Met Sally again tonight with Jessie. I've seen that movie like four times in the past month, but I never get tired of it. It's always still just as funny and just as sweet and romantic. *sigh* I love romance... love it!!!

Captivating

You know that scene in Maid in Manhattan when J.Lo walks into the party in the pink gown with her hair all done up and the incredible jewellery on, and the whole room stops and looks at her? And then her guy's jaw drops, and he can't take his eyes off of her the whole night? She captivates them. I think all girls want to be captivating. To hold someone's attention like that, knowing that she is beautiful and that her man absolutely adores her and is in love with her. I want to be captivating. Ah, romantic movies... I should really stop watching them...

Update

Looks like I'll be watching the finals after all. Go Sens!

Please Pray

Well, I'm home from Florida, and I have a few things I'd like to ask some prayer for:

1. My puppy has a heart murmur. She's got to get some tests done, but it could be bad...

2. I need a job. Fast.

In other news, I'm starting to get sick of hockey. I can't wait till playoffs are over! If Ottawa loses this series, I'm not watching the finals. I refuse.

People Watching at the Beach

Today was an interesting day at the beach. There was some good people watching going on!

Case #1:
Two couples. Two guys are burying one of the girls in the sand. Second girl is video taping. They turn the buried girl into a sand sculpture. With breasts. And nipples. And sea grass hair for... down there...

Case #2:
A young mother and father have their 10-ish month old at the beach. Mom goes swimming. Dad whips out a beer. Dad pours some beer into cup and hands to baby. Baby drinks it and hands cup back to Dad. Dad pours her some more.

Case #3:
WEDDING!!! Well.. setting up for one... Yup! Someone got married down at the beach at supper time with strangers playing and swimming all around them! lol There was white folding chairs set up for the guests. Wedding dress = VERY nice... Bridesmaids dresses = brown flowy beach-style halter dresses. Very cool wedding. Very cool location!

Inside and Out

Where There's Smoke, There's Fire!

Okay, so in case you haven't heard, it's forest fire season! Georgia and Northern Florida has been hit hard, and we are seeing the smoke here in St. Pete Beach! This morning, our sky was clear and blue, and by lunchtime it was completely covered with a smokey haze. The haze was so thick that visibility was reduced and breathing was difficult! This was definitely not a beach day. We did make it to the beach this evening to watch the sunset after the haze had cleared a little bit, but it still wasn't that great. The sun set about three quarters of the way to the water instead of disappearing behind the ocean. It was still pretty, though, and nice to just be outside. The weatherman said tonight that the smoke should clear up by tomorrow afternoon, so hopefully, we will be able to go back to the beach then.

I did my devotions out by the pool tonight. I think being in a nice, relaxing atmosphere increases my learning. Here's some of The Message's Ephesians 1. May it encourage you as much as it did me!

Long before He laid down earth's foundations, He had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of His love, to be made whole and holy by His love. Long, long ago He decided to adopt us into His family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure He took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of His lavish gift-giving by the hand of His beloved Son.

Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, His blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we're a free people - free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free! He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans He took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in Him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth.

It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, He had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone.

PSA

I think I am finally ready to make the announcement that I have been dreading for the past week. Most of you know that I got brave enough to get my navel pierced back in November with my dear friend Dear One. Alas and alack! My belly button ring BROKE over my vacation and fell out whilst I was swimming in the ocean! AND we couldn't get to a place that sold body jewellery before it grew over! *sigh* I am deeply saddened by this, but I have determined that I have spent too much money on this piercing already to spend another $60 to get it pierced again.

In other news, I bought a really nice watch today! I'm quite excited about it. It's Roxy, and it's pretty. haha And for those of you who have seen the perma-dirty pink digital watch that I've been wearing for the past ever, you will be pleased to hear that it has officially been replaced! :)

So there! Bad news and good news. Ballet tonight! Hooray!

The Ocean

Lately, I've been thinkin' about You/And lately, I've been dreaming about You/And lately, I can't get You out of my head/Get You out of my head

There's something about the ocean/That makes me rise up and praise/There's something about the heavens/Makes me stand in awe again/There's something about the sunrise/Reminds me of Your faithfulness/There's something about the ocean (Your presence)/And I'm lost in love again

I'll sing until I sense a smile/Upon Your great and lovely face/Until I know Your glory's in this place/Your glory's in this place...

-Ten Shekel Shirt

Florida, Part 2

Hello again! Sorry I haven't been posting much... I wasn't really online a whole lot this past week. The trip is still going well. Peter left to go home yesterday, so that's been a bit sad. lol But I'm pressing on. ;) Last week was probably the most romantic week of my life... Not much beats being young and in love in a place like this. I hope you all get to experience it at some point because it's pretty great.

So far this week, Mum and I have spent some time lazing by the pool, eating out, and playing mini golf! (Pics below!!) We ate lunch at the Don CeSar today, which is a super fancy resort here. It's all pink and has been nicknamed The Pink Palace. It's crazy nice in there. I have some pics of it up on Facebook. To give you some idea of how nice it is, the least expensive rooms you can get are near $400/night. It would costs thousands and thousands of dollars to spend a whole vacation there. It's nuts... Anyways, here's some interesting mini golfing pics for you. I'll try to update again soon!

La Floride!

Hello from sunny Florida, everybody!! Sorry it's taken me so long to update, but it's been next to impossible to pry the laptop away from my mother. ;) I guess she just has too many friends back home who are "waiting for a reply", which, in case you're wondering, does mean that they are sitting at their computer and will NOT move until they get one! hahaha

So far, we've done a whole lot of being lazy! Lots of days at the beach and by the pool... I made a new friend! His name is Rupert, and he is a baby duck. He was living in the pool for the afternoon, and I went swimming with him! He sat on my shoulder, chased me around, and played with my hair. He was very cute. When we went back later that night, though, he was gone. Hopefully, he found his mother again. Other than the beach, we've just done some shopping. I got a new bathing suit! It's really cute. I've gotten some nice things so far... The shopping has definitely been good this year.

Here's some pics for your enjoyment! Try not to get too jealous!