Be My Escape

I've given up on giving up slowly/I'm blending in so you won't even know me/Apart from this whole world that shares my fate/This one last bullet that you mention/It's my one last shot at redemption/'Cause I know to live you must give your life away

And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity/And I've been locked inside that house/All the while You hold the key/And I've been dying to get out/And that might be the death of me/And even though there's no way of knowing where to go/I promise I'm going because...

I gotta get out of here/I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake/I gotta get out of here/And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You to be my escape

I've given up on doing this alone now/Guess I failed and I'm ready to be shown how/You told me the way and now I'm trying to get there/And this life sentence that I'm serving/I admit that I'm every bit deserving/But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity/And I've been locked inside that house/All the while You hold the key/And I've been dying to get out/And that might be the death of me/And even though there's no way of knowing where to go/I promise I'm going because...

I gotta get out of here/'Cause I'm afraid that this complacency is something I can't shake/I gotta get out of here/And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You to be my escape

I am a hostage to my own humanity/Self-detained and forced to live in this mess I've made/And all I'm asking is for You to do what You can with me/But I can't ask You to give what you already gave

And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity/And I've been locked inside that house/All the while You hold the key/And I've been dying to get out/And that might be the death of me/And even though there's no way of knowing where to go/I promise I'm going because...

I gotta get out of here/I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake/I gotta get out of here/And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You to be my escape

I fought You for so long/I should have let You in/Oh, how we regret those things we do/And all I was trying to do was save my own skin/But so were You... so were You...

-Relient K (again... seriously, the cd hasn't left my cd player in my car for a few weeks...)

This has been my theme song lately... I have been stuck inside a rut that I fell into by mistake. I've been unbelievably moody lately! Seriously... I'll be great, great, great and then.... BAM! One little thing will happen to set me off, and I'll be crying and annoyed and cranky and I'm just sick of it!! Granted, sometimes the things that set me off are things that will always annoy me because... well, because they are just things that annoy me.... but I really need to get a grip! I'd been doing better too... really! For the past week (ish..) I've been great... but then yesterday and today... well, not so much... Lots of crashes, I guess... *sigh* God, I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You to be my escape!!

*Side note: For a band that maybe hides behind upbeat punk rock beats, Relient K can be really deep... and depressing. Mmhmm is a depressing cd!! I'm serious!! Like almost all of the songs on it are really, really depressing!!! Maybe I should take it out of the car for a bit... That might help... I'll put in.. something happy... Beach Boys.. or Backstreet Boys (haha! rock on!!)... or something else happy that I have! Yes, I think that will help...*